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7. Tuesday - The Worst
Tuesday is without a doubt, unquestionably the shittiest day of the week. Honestly, who the hell likes Tuesday? What is good about Tuesday? Even the argument “It’s one day closer to the weekend” doesn’t save Tuesday. In reality Tuesday is just the second day in your already shitty week. You wake up Tuesday morning drained from Monday’s bullshit only to repeat the same exact bullshit you did on Monday. All you can think about on Tuesday is how your glorious weekend is fading away from memory and how you have today and 3 more days of this bullshit left until freedom. Also, Tuesday’s odd placement in the week makes it a difficult day for planning events. This typically results in Tuesday being the most boring day of your week. Even the name sucks, Tuesday, such an awful day. People born on Tuesdays are usually horrible, boring people anyway. I’m probably making that last part up. But the rest holds true.
6. Monday - Pretty Much The Worst, But Not Quite
Monday, oh my God, it’s Monday. “Fuck! I have work!” Or “Fuck! I have class!”. Monday is the awful start of the week, and it is unquestionably a very shitty day. The only thing that makes Monday better than Tuesday is the fresh weekend memories pushing you through the day. Or that hot girl/guy from Sunday, cooking you breakfast before you go your separate ways. Mondays are awful, but you usually have your energy if you used your Sunday wisely. “It’s just 5 days” You tell yourself, “It’ll be over in a snap”. If only all this motivation and positivity wasn’t gone by 8pm.
5. Wednesday - Pretty Terrible, But It Has Its Perks
Hump Day, motherfucking hump day. The middle of your very shitty week and fuck that Geico commercial, even Camels aren’t happy on Wednesday. But, you’ve made it this far, so things can only get better. I mean hey, at least it’s not Monday or Tuesday. Strategically the best placed day of the week, if only that correlated equally in excitement, fun, and possible activities. Wednesday has that new found motivation, the worst is over and the best is yet to come, If only I can survive. People seem to spring back from the dead on Wednesday, they defeated that bastard Tuesday. This day is usually a breeze, typically the most plain day of the week because everybody is remembering that they’re not quite dead. People begin to start going out, hanging around town and even planning for the weekend. Wednesday’s only reason for being at the bottom and of the list is the spelling of the day and the fact that the next 4 days are just so much substantially better. But kudos Wednesday, you’re not a bad day at all.
4. Saturday - Not Terrible, But Not Good Either
The Most Overrated Day Of The Week, Saturday. What?! How is Saturday number 4? Saturday is the heart of the weekend!?! Yes this is true, but think about the day you’re just coming off of! Most of Saturday morning is spent rolling in bed trying to fight off a hangover, trying to remember what happened last night, if it was good or bad, and trying to think if there’s anything important you had to do today. Saturday’s are only appealing if your agenda is completely clear for the day. Saturday, a day filled with potential, has major flaws because it is the most easily ruined day of the week. Why? Because everybody has high expectations for Saturday. Saturday is supposed to be Round 2, but if it can’t live up to Friday, it’s totally a wasted day of the week. Also, if you have something boring on your schedule that takes up the majority of your Saturday, it eats away at you because “C’monnnnnn! It’s Saturday!”. You’ll then find yourself scouring for plans late Saturday night to either no avail because everybody has started without you or it’s one of those more common than not dead Saturdays. On the plus side, Saturday has many night time and day time options, but the if they don’t fall through, your Saturday can feel a lot like Tuesday.
3. Sunday - A Very Quality Day
Sunday is a day with a lot of potential, it’s a very quality day for doing something and even better for doing nothing. That’s what makes Sunday such a good day, it’s the only day of the week where it is completely socially acceptable to do absolutely fucking nothing. Nobody gets mad at you for staying in on a Sunday night unlike Friday and Saturday. You probably have work or school tomorrow, but who cares, you can sleep as long as you want, do all the work you were supposed to, or even go out for a calm relaxing adventure. Everything is so peaceful on Sunday and there’s Football if it’s Autumn and Winter. What makes Sunday so good is that there aren’t any expectations for Sunday other than doing nothing or for it to be a particularly boring day. That’s why when something exceptionally fun happens, the enjoyment is multiplied because “Holy shit, that was such a fun day. And it’s Sunday, who would’ve thought?!”. Sunday is probably the most underrated day of the week, but it shouldn’t be. Sundays are really the shit when you think about it.
2. Thursday - The Pride and Joy of the Week
Throwback Thursday, Thirsty Thursday, Thursday Night Football, Thanksgiving, need I say more? Thursday is the college student’s Friday, potentially giving them Two Saturdays. Thursday is such a good day, Thursday is Frday’s real sidekick and not Saturday. Its either you’re free the next day or the next day is your last day of bullshit. All you think about is how tomorrow is Friday, so much motivation and energy flowed through you just preparing for Friday. Even bars and concert halls are preparing you for Friday. Its hard to find yourself not pre-gaming Friday on Thursday night. Thursday has so much to offer, it’s secretly the first day of weekend activities because people know college kids are cash in hand looking for something to do to celebrate the end of their school week. Whether you’re in college or not you can definitely take advantage of these perks. You can’t ineffectively use a Thursday because whether you want to relax and go to sleep with a smile on your face because Friday is tomorrow or you want to go out and get wrecked because Friday is tomorrow, at the end of the day, Friday is still tomorrow and that’s everything to look forward to.
Friday - Fuck Yes!
You did it! You survived! Who knew, who fucking knew?! Thank God it’s Friday! Let’s get fucking drunk! Even if you have work tomorrow, even if it’s at 8am, you still find yourself at the bar or a party or a friend’s house in a position to get drunk, whether you do so or not. Friday comes around and everyone is happy, excited, and pumped for something. You probably already have your plans and if you don’t, fuck it who cares, it’s Friday you’ll find something. Even if you want to stay in and do nothing, it’s still fucking Friday and you’re just so relieved That all that bullshit you went through is over for the next 2 and a half days. Everywhere is open and open especially late tonight because it’s Friday and for that fact people are so much more willing to stay out later and spend more money. Friday is the most celebrated day of the weekend and rightly so. Since children Friday was the shit, because we were done with school and heading towards plenty of hours of doing whatever the fuck you want. Maybe that’s why people still love Friday, because it brings out the kid in us. It brings out the no rules, fuck you, I’m staying up late and eating a bitchload of candy and watching cartoons. Only thing is now, we changed candy for sex, drugs, and alcohol and we changed cartoons for R-rated movies and porn.
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